Know When It’s Time to Quit

By Winnie Yu for Completely You



Doing dishes at 9 p.m. Folding laundry at 10 p.m. Cleaning the bathroom at midnight. If you’re a time-strapped mom, you know exactly what I’m talking about. You don’t stop doing chores until you collapse in bed.

Truth is, it probably takes every hour of the day to get the job done, and so you do just that. But think about it: If you had a desk job, wouldn’t you just set things aside until tomorrow? Wouldn’t you want some time to wind down and relax? Wouldn’t you have a quitting time?

Like any job on the planet, being a mom requires a quitting time. That’s the moment in your day when you say, “Enough is enough. I’m done. This task can wait until tomorrow.” Unless your dishes are piled so high they might topple overnight, and unless the dust bunnies in your living room are coming to life, most chores can be put aside until the next day.

For years, I didn’t have a quitting time. Being a writer only made it worse. I worked on weekends. I worked at night. I got up early and wrote in the wee hours of dawn. (Confession: I still do that sometimes -- but only when I have too many deadlines.)

Over the years, I slowly learned that having a quitting time made me a better person -- and a better mom. The endless to-do list was never going to go away. I could dust and vacuum and write and organize until I turned blue, and there’d still be something left to do.

I finally learned to quit at a given time. For me, that means I usually stop working around 5 p.m. and I wrap up my household chores by 8 p.m. Then I can spend the rest of the night playing games with my family, watching TV or catching up on my reading.

Having a quitting time gives me the time to relax and unwind that all moms need. It lets me chill out before bed and savor time with my kids. Most important, perhaps, it gives me the stamina to do it all again the next day.

Do you give yourself a quitting time?



Winnie Yu is Completely You’s mom blogger. She has two daughters (Samantha, 14, and Annie, 12) and is the author of seven books, including New Mother’s Guide to Breastfeeding and What to Eat for What Ails You. Her work has appeared in numerous publications, including Woman’s Day, AARP Bulletin, Prevention and WebMD.com.

Why Every Mom Needs Time Alone

By Winnie Yu for Completely You



When I was young, I hated doing things alone. I was afraid I’d look like a loser, a sad sack with no friends. I always wanted companionship and would seek out others to join me, whether it was for a quick trip to the mall or a walk in the neighborhood. But these days, I’m learning that sometimes my own company is all I need and want.

Being by myself gives me time to collect my thoughts and ponder life’s challenges. Sometimes, I use the time to plan my day, come up with story ideas and create shopping lists. Other times, I use it to meditate and clear my head. Still other times, I’ll bring along a book or some music and allow myself the pleasure of some entertainment.

Some of my time alone is dictated by the work I do: I’m a writer -- perhaps one of the loneliest vocations there is. To ease the isolation, I often seek out friends to eat lunch, go shopping or take a walk. But even these activities are often done alone these days.

Doing things by myself gives me total control of my outing. Take shopping for instance. I love shopping with my daughters or my mom, and I enjoy the occasional jaunt with friends. But when I go by myself, I can move as fast or as slow as I want. I can choose which stores to go into, and when to eat lunch or stop for a snack. I set the entire agenda and get to come and go as I please.

I also tend to walk alone more often, with the exception of my favorite walking companion, Loki, our Yorkie. Walking with him is almost like walking alone, except when he refuses to budge and makes his case by holding his ground with his 5-pound body.

Still, I’m not a complete loner -- yet. I haven’t seen many movies by myself, and I still rarely dine alone. And I’d probably never go on a serious hike or long bike ride by myself for safety reasons. I also like to think of those events as social occasions that are best enjoyed in the company of others. What’s different now, though, is that I no longer worry if I’m alone somewhere, and I certainly don’t feel like a loser. I’ve learned that sometimes the best company is my own.
 
Photo: @iStockphoto.com/kupicoo


Winnie Yu is Completely You’s mom blogger. She has two daughters (Samantha, 14, and Annie, 12) and is the author of seven books, including New Mother’s Guide to Breastfeeding and What to Eat for What Ails You. Her work has appeared in numerous publications, including Woman’s Day, AARP Bulletin, Prevention and WebMD.com.