An Imperfect Role Model

By Winnie Yu for Completely You



As a mother, I used to think I had to set the perfect example, especially since I have two daughters. I had to work hard. I had to eat the healthiest foods. I had to dress well. I always had to arrive on time. I had to be nice. I could never tell a lie. I had to donate money to anyone who ever asked. And I could never mutter a bad word, even during life’s most frustrating moments.

Striving for perfection, however, was exhausting. It was also impossible to achieve. Take the time my daughter Annie and I got rear ended by a reckless driver last year on our way home from a piano lesson. A few choice words slipped out of my mouth that day. Annie quickly learned that her mom was hardly “perfect” and never would be.

And that, I decided, is okay.

Even the most perfect among us are hardly perfect. We get angry. We get grumpy. We snap. We judge. Simply put, we don’t always do what’s considered the right thing. Most of the time, however, we’re just decent people, trying to do the best we can. I call it being human.

Letting my daughters see my imperfections gives them -- and me -- room to breathe and allows them be the imperfect people they are. It frees them up to relax a little when they mess up. It also teaches them to forgive others when they are imperfect and to move on with the bigger picture in mind.

Does that mean there are things I’ve done that I don’t regret? Absolutely not. Does it mean I think it’s okay to be rude, inconsiderate and crass? Not at all. What it does mean is that I don’t pressure myself to always do the right thing, even when I know my kids are watching me.

Freeing myself from the strict standards of perfectionism allows me to relax and teaches my kids the best lesson of all: no one is perfect.

And that’s perfectly fine by me.

For more great health & lifestyle content, check out the rest of Completely You

Winnie Yu is Completely You’s mom blogger. She has two daughters (Samantha, 14, and Annie, 12) and is the author of seven books, including New Mother’s Guide to Breastfeeding and What to Eat for What Ails You. Her work has appeared in numerous publications, including Woman’s Day, AARP Bulletin, Prevention and WebMD.com.

Know When It’s Time to Quit

By Winnie Yu for Completely You



Doing dishes at 9 p.m. Folding laundry at 10 p.m. Cleaning the bathroom at midnight. If you’re a time-strapped mom, you know exactly what I’m talking about. You don’t stop doing chores until you collapse in bed.

Truth is, it probably takes every hour of the day to get the job done, and so you do just that. But think about it: If you had a desk job, wouldn’t you just set things aside until tomorrow? Wouldn’t you want some time to wind down and relax? Wouldn’t you have a quitting time?

Like any job on the planet, being a mom requires a quitting time. That’s the moment in your day when you say, “Enough is enough. I’m done. This task can wait until tomorrow.” Unless your dishes are piled so high they might topple overnight, and unless the dust bunnies in your living room are coming to life, most chores can be put aside until the next day.

For years, I didn’t have a quitting time. Being a writer only made it worse. I worked on weekends. I worked at night. I got up early and wrote in the wee hours of dawn. (Confession: I still do that sometimes -- but only when I have too many deadlines.)

Over the years, I slowly learned that having a quitting time made me a better person -- and a better mom. The endless to-do list was never going to go away. I could dust and vacuum and write and organize until I turned blue, and there’d still be something left to do.

I finally learned to quit at a given time. For me, that means I usually stop working around 5 p.m. and I wrap up my household chores by 8 p.m. Then I can spend the rest of the night playing games with my family, watching TV or catching up on my reading.

Having a quitting time gives me the time to relax and unwind that all moms need. It lets me chill out before bed and savor time with my kids. Most important, perhaps, it gives me the stamina to do it all again the next day.

Do you give yourself a quitting time?



Winnie Yu is Completely You’s mom blogger. She has two daughters (Samantha, 14, and Annie, 12) and is the author of seven books, including New Mother’s Guide to Breastfeeding and What to Eat for What Ails You. Her work has appeared in numerous publications, including Woman’s Day, AARP Bulletin, Prevention and WebMD.com.

Are Canned Foods Good for You?

By Winnie Yu for Completely You



When I was in college, canned ravioli was a weekly staple. And as a child, I loved SpaghettiOs and Manwich sandwiches. I may not eat those foods so much anymore (though I admit to eating an occasional spoonful of SpaghettiOs), but as a mom, I’ve been turning more and more to canned foods to help me prepare my meals.

It turns out that canned foods may be a good idea: A recent study by the decidedly biased Canned Food Alliance found that canned foods are often just as nutritious as the fresh and frozen varieties, and that they are often less expensive and require less time to prepare. That’s good news for us time-crunched moms, who are always looking for ways to stretch a dollar, find a minute and still feed our families the healthy foods they need.

Canned spinach, for instance, costs 85 percent less than the fresh or frozen variety; canned tomatoes, 60 percent less. Meanwhile, pinto beans from a can cost $1 less than dried pinto beans. They also take just six minutes to heat, compared to the dried variety, which require more than two hours to soak and cook. In fact, when you factor in the time it takes to prepare any fresh veggie -- cleaning, cutting and soaking -- you double your savings. After all, as any mom knows, time is money.

Come to think of the recipes I make these days, canned foods are a definite staple in my kitchen. I make a taco soup that calls for canned corn, beans and stewed tomatoes. I toss crushed pineapple from a can into pina colada smoothies and use canned pumpkin to make pumpkin pies. And I always keep a few cans of broth on hand to season stir-fries or make a quick soup.

I’m thrilled to know that something as simple as opening a can qualifies as preparing dinner. Just the other night, I made a can of beets for dinner! And guess what? They tasted just as good as the fresh ones.

Next time you’re in a hurry, check out the canned food aisle in your supermarket. You just might find dinner, dessert and even snacks to satisfy the hunger in between. Do you use canned foods to help you make dinner?

What’s Your Hurry?

By Winnie Yu for Completely You



All my life, I’ve been one of those people who walk quickly on life’s treadmill. I talk fast. I move fast. I think fast. The good news is I get a lot done.

And so it came as no surprise that as a mom, I had a tendency to hurry my kids along. There were places to be, people to see, things to do! Get out the door so we could arrive on time and do what we had to do.

Lately, I’ve been rethinking that strategy and changing some of my fast-paced, always-in-a-hurry ways. Instead of leaving half an hour before an event, I leave 10 minutes before it. Rather than race through a store, I try to pay attention to what my daughters are showing me. Instead of watching the clock while I’m taking an exercise class, I try to focus on what I’m doing and to do it more deliberately.

Nowhere is that more important than at dinnertime, where we still somehow manage to eat together most nights. I recently read Savor: Mindful Eating, Mindful Life, a book by the famous Buddhist monk Thich Naht Hanh and Dr. Lilian Cheung, registered dietitian and director of health promotion and communication for the Harvard School of Public Health. The book talks about the importance of eating slowly as a way to control our weight. It also stresses the importance of being present in each moment of our lives and not living in the past or future.

For those of us in life’s fast lane, maybe it’s time to learn from those who amble along on life’s treadmill. Maybe it’s time we dawdle in stores and sip our lattes down to the last drop. I’d like to think that letting up on the gas will help us savor the scenery.



Winnie Yu is Completely You’s mom blogger. She has two daughters (Samantha, 14, and Annie, 12) and is the author of seven books, including New Mother’s Guide to Breastfeeding and What to Eat for What Ails You. Her work has appeared in numerous publications, including Woman’s Day, AARP Bulletin, Prevention and WebMD.com.

Moms Need Getaways Too!

By Winnie Yu for Completely You


When my daughters were infants, I couldn’t bear to leave them for more than a couple of hours. Call it primal, but it just didn’t feel right to be away from them when they were so small. So with the exception of an occasional date night with my husband or an early girls’ night out, I rarely left their sides, choosing instead to be home, frazzled and exhausted, but present.

Fast-forward a few years, and the value of a good getaway -- for a day or a long weekend -- has become increasingly apparent and necessary for my sanity. Sure, a Calgon bath is nice (remember the “Calgon, take me away” ads?), but a real escape is considerably better.

Whether it’s a weekend with the girls or a solo business trip, it’s good to take a time-out from motherhood and remind ourselves that we are people too. And as such, we need time alone, time with friends and time to pursue our dreams and goals.

Sometimes, a short getaway is all I need to recharge. It can be something as simple as going to a leisurely lunch with a friend or going on a shopping trip by myself. Other times, life calls for a longer excursion, such as an extended visit with a friend, a work conference or a weekend spa trip with the girls. (If you need some great short escape ideas to inspire you, click here.)

Being away on my own helps me to remember my carefree days when my responsibilities were significantly fewer and when I had only one person to worry about: me. It also gives me perspective on my life because it lets me step outside of it for a while. Best of all, it helps me appreciate the wonderful people who have since come into my life, especially my two daughters.

Mind you, I always miss them when I’m away. I think of their sweet smiles and the way they still hold on to me, even as they are slowly growing up. I do not think of their bickering, their messy rooms or the way they sigh when I ask them to take the dog out.

With those loving thoughts in mind, I make my return as a calmer, happier person who feels multidimensional. When the wheels of family life start spinning again, I’m able to be a better mom.



Winnie Yu is Completely You’s mom blogger. She has two daughters (Samantha, 14, and Annie, 12) and is the author of seven books, including New Mother’s Guide to Breastfeeding and What to Eat for What Ails You. Her work has appeared in numerous publications, including Woman’s Day, AARP Bulletin, Prevention and WebMD.com.