Moms Need Getaways Too!

By Winnie Yu for Completely You


When my daughters were infants, I couldn’t bear to leave them for more than a couple of hours. Call it primal, but it just didn’t feel right to be away from them when they were so small. So with the exception of an occasional date night with my husband or an early girls’ night out, I rarely left their sides, choosing instead to be home, frazzled and exhausted, but present.

Fast-forward a few years, and the value of a good getaway -- for a day or a long weekend -- has become increasingly apparent and necessary for my sanity. Sure, a Calgon bath is nice (remember the “Calgon, take me away” ads?), but a real escape is considerably better.

Whether it’s a weekend with the girls or a solo business trip, it’s good to take a time-out from motherhood and remind ourselves that we are people too. And as such, we need time alone, time with friends and time to pursue our dreams and goals.

Sometimes, a short getaway is all I need to recharge. It can be something as simple as going to a leisurely lunch with a friend or going on a shopping trip by myself. Other times, life calls for a longer excursion, such as an extended visit with a friend, a work conference or a weekend spa trip with the girls. (If you need some great short escape ideas to inspire you, click here.)

Being away on my own helps me to remember my carefree days when my responsibilities were significantly fewer and when I had only one person to worry about: me. It also gives me perspective on my life because it lets me step outside of it for a while. Best of all, it helps me appreciate the wonderful people who have since come into my life, especially my two daughters.

Mind you, I always miss them when I’m away. I think of their sweet smiles and the way they still hold on to me, even as they are slowly growing up. I do not think of their bickering, their messy rooms or the way they sigh when I ask them to take the dog out.

With those loving thoughts in mind, I make my return as a calmer, happier person who feels multidimensional. When the wheels of family life start spinning again, I’m able to be a better mom.



Winnie Yu is Completely You’s mom blogger. She has two daughters (Samantha, 14, and Annie, 12) and is the author of seven books, including New Mother’s Guide to Breastfeeding and What to Eat for What Ails You. Her work has appeared in numerous publications, including Woman’s Day, AARP Bulletin, Prevention and WebMD.com.

Why Every Mom Needs Time Alone

By Winnie Yu for Completely You



When I was young, I hated doing things alone. I was afraid I’d look like a loser, a sad sack with no friends. I always wanted companionship and would seek out others to join me, whether it was for a quick trip to the mall or a walk in the neighborhood. But these days, I’m learning that sometimes my own company is all I need and want.

Being by myself gives me time to collect my thoughts and ponder life’s challenges. Sometimes, I use the time to plan my day, come up with story ideas and create shopping lists. Other times, I use it to meditate and clear my head. Still other times, I’ll bring along a book or some music and allow myself the pleasure of some entertainment.

Some of my time alone is dictated by the work I do: I’m a writer -- perhaps one of the loneliest vocations there is. To ease the isolation, I often seek out friends to eat lunch, go shopping or take a walk. But even these activities are often done alone these days.

Doing things by myself gives me total control of my outing. Take shopping for instance. I love shopping with my daughters or my mom, and I enjoy the occasional jaunt with friends. But when I go by myself, I can move as fast or as slow as I want. I can choose which stores to go into, and when to eat lunch or stop for a snack. I set the entire agenda and get to come and go as I please.

I also tend to walk alone more often, with the exception of my favorite walking companion, Loki, our Yorkie. Walking with him is almost like walking alone, except when he refuses to budge and makes his case by holding his ground with his 5-pound body.

Still, I’m not a complete loner -- yet. I haven’t seen many movies by myself, and I still rarely dine alone. And I’d probably never go on a serious hike or long bike ride by myself for safety reasons. I also like to think of those events as social occasions that are best enjoyed in the company of others. What’s different now, though, is that I no longer worry if I’m alone somewhere, and I certainly don’t feel like a loser. I’ve learned that sometimes the best company is my own.
 
Photo: @iStockphoto.com/kupicoo


Winnie Yu is Completely You’s mom blogger. She has two daughters (Samantha, 14, and Annie, 12) and is the author of seven books, including New Mother’s Guide to Breastfeeding and What to Eat for What Ails You. Her work has appeared in numerous publications, including Woman’s Day, AARP Bulletin, Prevention and WebMD.com.

Break the Rules

 

I love rules. I make them, I follow them and I impose them. Just ask my kids.

My personal rules cover all corners of my life, from health to finances to social life and housekeeping. Exercise 30 minutes a day. Don’t spend what you don’t have. Make time for friends every week. Put everything away now. If you don’t need it, ditch it. Leave a clean kitchen sink every night. Call Mom every few days.

Some rules are virtually non-negotiable, like exercising every day. Others, like the one about putting things away immediately, are often broken -- even forgotten -- as anyone who has seen my kitchen and office knows.

While it might sound as if I’m my own worst Gestapo, my rules help me stay healthy and sane. They also keep me organized and prevent me from going broke.

But here’s my favorite maxim: Make sure you break the rules sometimes.

As the old saying goes, rules are made to be broken -- which is why on some days, even I will shatter my own code of conduct. I’ll eat three desserts in a day. I’ll splurge on a pricey pair of shoes. I’ll leave dirty dishes in the kitchen sink overnight. Sometimes – though rarely -- I’ll even bypass my workout. 

Breaking the rules helps make life a little more fun and a bit more spontaneous. If I did everything according to my private code of conduct, every single day of every single week of every single year, I’d probably go crazy. Giving myself the leeway to cut loose usually means I’m having some fun, doing something interesting or -- say it ain’t so -- actually relaxing a little bit.

So if you’re like me (you like to stay on track), give yourself an occasional break and throw your personal rules to the wind. There’s more than one way to live, and it can change from one moment to next, one day to another or even week by week. The key is knowing when to break your rules. And frankly, there’s no rule for that. 

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For more great health & lifestyle content, visit the parent site of my blog, Completely You

Photo: @iStockphoto.com/shironosov

Winnie Yu is Completely You’s mom blogger. She has two daughters (Samantha, 14, and Annie, 12) and is the author of seven books, including New Mother’s Guide to Breastfeeding and What to Eat for What Ails You. Her work has appeared in numerous publications, including Woman’s Day, AARP Bulletin, Prevention and WebMD.com.

Make Time for Friends

By Winnie Yu for Completely You


Back in the day when I was in high school, my friends were everything to me. We spent the day laughing and whispering in the school hallways, then went home and called each other to plan what we were going to do that weekend.

Then life got busy. Careers. Marriage. Kids. Friendships got put on the back burner as we slowly carved our way in the world and struggled to create meaning in our lives. But as I’ve gotten older and as my kids have become more independent, I’m starting to realize again just how important my friends really are to my happiness and well-being. (Learn just how important friendship is to your physical health here.)

That’s why I’ve made it a priority to spend time with my friends. As much as I love my family, there’s simply no substitute for the companionship of friends -- these wonderful people you handpicked to be in your life. These special folks are always there for you, ready to lend an ear or a hand, or simply to share a laugh.

Now, even when I’m having a busy week, I still try to set aside some time for friends. It might be breakfast or a walk with one pal, lunch with a small group, or a movie night with a troupe of frazzled moms from the neighborhood. Once a year, I try to meet up with my two best friends from college for a weekend away. It doesn’t really matter what we do. Just being together and talking is all that counts.

Truth is that hanging out with your friends is good for the soul. It feels good to kvetch about life’s endless challenges, swap stories about our kids and laugh about life’s absurdities. It feels good to be with people who want nothing more from you than a little compassion and some good conversation.

After an outing with my friends, I’m always more relaxed, and life always feels a little more manageable. As someone once said, “Friendship doubles your joys and divides your sorrows.” How true indeed.

Like this post? Comment below or connect with us @Completely_You
For more great health & lifestyle content, visit the parent site of my blog, Completely You


Winnie Yu is Completely You’s mom blogger. She has two daughters (Samantha, 14, and Annie, 12) and is the author of seven books, including New Mother’s Guide to Breastfeeding and What to Eat for What Ails You. Her work has appeared in numerous publications, including Woman’s Day, AARP Bulletin, Prevention and WebMD.com.