Recharging Your Batteries

By Winnie Yu for Completely You



Most moms I know run around like Energizer bunnies, forever on the go. We’re always busy doing things for our families, running the household and working hard at our jobs. Every night, we dutifully plug in our cell phones so the batteries can recharge. But how religious are we about recharging our own batteries?

Years ago, when my girls were young, I stopped taking care of myself. I’d go weeks without exercise. I didn’t get enough sleep. I worked long hours. I rarely went out with friends. But then I realized the truth in what flight attendants said: “When the plane hits turbulence, and you need an oxygen mask, always slip yours on first.” Without enough oxygen for yourself, there’s little you can do for your child -- or anyone else for that matter.

With that sage advice in mind, I began doing a better job of recharging my own batteries.

• Exercise regularly. No matter what else I have planned for the day, I make it a priority to move. Some days, it’s an hour-long visit to the gym and a 3-mile walk with my dog. Other days, it’s two 10-minute walks with the dog and nothing else. Regular activity helps my mood, gives me energy and makes it easier for me to fall asleep.
• Eat well -- most of the time. I love desserts, snacks and all sorts of junk food. Given the choice, I’d live on French fries, burgers and pizza. But when I did eat that way, I didn’t really feel good. Now, I start my breakfast with berries, orange juice and another piece of fruit. I eat a salad almost every day, and I’m careful to watch my intake of red meat. I also try to eat lean proteins, including fish once or twice a week.
• Get your rest. A good night’s sleep doesn’t come easily to me these days, so I’ve devised a list of strategies that help ease me into it, including regular exercise, chamomile tea, melatonin and middle-of-the-night viewings of “Mad Men” reruns on Netflix. If I still don’t get enough sleep, I take a short nap during the day -- just 15 minutes are usually enough. Most important, I try not to sweat my lack of sleep. 
• Find things that make you laugh. I’m lucky to be surrounded by humor. For starters, I’m married to a very funny man whose take on life has always made me laugh. On top of that, some of my best friends are also the funniest people I know. They can drop one-liners with the best of them and see the irony in any situation. Throw in a good sitcom, a funny movie or a conversation with my daughters, who are fabulous comedians without always meaning to be, and I’m well-stocked with the laughter we all need to get through life.
• Rediscover your hobbies and passions -- or try out new ones. For years, I was an avid reader, a tennis player and a bicyclist. After having kids, all those hobbies fell by the wayside. Now that my girls are a little older, I’m rediscovering my love of reading and I’m back on my bike more regularly. Tennis? I’m giving that a try in a few days; I’ll see if I can resume that passion. In the meantime, I’ve discovered yoga and scrapbooking, and I’ve gone back to playing my flute.
• Spend time with friends. Whether it’s your best friend from high school or a new acquaintance from the PTA, being with friends is medicine for the soul -- even if you’re just commiserating or swapping cleaning tips. Human beings are social creatures, and being with others gives us perspective, camaraderie and energy.

Every mom has her own recipe for recharging her batteries. Whatever you need to recapture your zest, do it. Your family will thank you for it.

For more great health and lifestyle content, check out the rest of Completely You

Winnie Yu is Completely You’s mom blogger. She has two daughters (Samantha, 14, and Annie, 12) and is the author of seven books, including New Mother’s Guide to Breastfeeding and What to Eat for What Ails You. Her work has appeared in numerous publications, including Woman’s Day, AARP Bulletin, Prevention and WebMD.com.

Guilty of Not Feeling Guilty

All moms have guilt … or do they? 

Not long ago, I decided I wanted to write a blog about mom guilt. My thoughts leaped around. The sentences wouldn’t gel. Paragraphs refused to flow. I set the blog aside and took off to a writer’s conference. There in my hotel room, I realized a simple truth: I didn’t really feel that guilty.

And that’s when the guilt set in.

Don’t get me wrong; I’m no stranger to mom guilt. Who is? Mom guilt comes in all forms and from all directions. Me? I used to feel guilty for almost everything I did. I felt guilty for working. I felt guilty when I didn’t work. I felt guilty when I missed field trips. I felt guilty when I fed my kids fast food. I felt guilty for parking them in front of the TV so I could finish a project. I often felt as if everything I did wasn’t enough or wasn’t right.

Guilt became a part of life -- a way of being. Perhaps because it was so pervasive, it became a bit like breathing -- something I experienced every day and simply had to accept.

But over the years, especially as my daughters got older and I saw that they were fine, the guilt began to lessen. I began to realize that it really is OK to take time for myself, to pursue a career and to do things that break the rules I’d set for myself. I realized that my being away from them for a short period of time wasn’t going to make or break them. I realized that the occasional trip to a fast-food restaurant wasn’t going to destroy their health.

Truth is, motherhood evolves and unfolds in its own unique way for every woman. There are no commandments to abide by. Skipping field trips doesn’t make you a lesser mother, and getting an occasional spa treatment or attending a work conference doesn’t, either. What matters is your constant presence and love, and it’s the rare mom who doesn’t provide that. (Listen to how other working moms cope with guilt here.)

Still, I do suffer the occasional pang of guilt for liberating myself of mother guilt. When that happens, I remind myself that I’ve had my share and paid my dues. If time has allowed me to acquire some perspective, then OK: I’m guilty as charged.

For more great health and lifestyle content, visit me here at Completely You

Yoga, Personalized

By Winnie Yu for Completely You



I know you’re supposed to wear spandex and cute, stretchy little tops when you’re doing a downward dog. But these days, you’re more likely to find me dressed in my bathrobe and pajamas when I’m in a yoga pose. I call it “Bathrobe Yoga,” and I like to think of it as my own brand of yoga.

Like most moms, my time is tight. Although I’d prefer to do yoga two or three times a week, the reality is that I usually get to a class only once or twice a month. That’s why I’ve resorted to doing yoga in short spurts, most often at night when I’m in my pj’s and bathrobe.

I admit it isn’t exactly a pretty sight. While I’m watching TV at night -- or when I first wake up in the morning -- I’ll do some simple twists and bends, maybe a crescent lunge, or some cats and dogs. Sometimes, I’ll do the goddess pose or a rag doll. I can even do an occasional sun salutation -- all from the comfort of my home.

Could I change into my yoga clothes? Of course I could. But that would take time, and sometimes, I’m just that lazy. For me, it’s often easier to do something right then and there, when the mood to strike a pose strikes.

No doubt, my home practice lacks the rigor of the class I take at my local studio. I don’t hold the poses as long, and I probably don’t push myself as hard. And my attire certainly imposes some limits on my movements. But so far, it’s doing what I want it to do, which is to maintain my flexibility between classes.

Making time for things we love isn’t always easy. And it’s laughable to think of myself as a yogini in a fuzzy bathrobe. But sometimes, moms like me simply have to modify their activities and find new ways to do them. (For example, see how to do yoga while making breakfast.) That’s what Bathrobe Yoga is: my own unique way of doing the yoga I love, without worrying about wardrobe.

Tried yoga yet? Comment below or connect with me @Completely_You



Winnie Yu is Completely You’s mom blogger. She has two daughters (Samantha, 14, and Annie, 12) and is the author of seven books, including New Mother’s Guide to Breastfeeding and What to Eat for What Ails You. Her work has appeared in numerous publications, including Woman’s Day, AARP Bulletin, Prevention and WebMD.com.

Why Every Mom Needs Time Alone

By Winnie Yu for Completely You



When I was young, I hated doing things alone. I was afraid I’d look like a loser, a sad sack with no friends. I always wanted companionship and would seek out others to join me, whether it was for a quick trip to the mall or a walk in the neighborhood. But these days, I’m learning that sometimes my own company is all I need and want.

Being by myself gives me time to collect my thoughts and ponder life’s challenges. Sometimes, I use the time to plan my day, come up with story ideas and create shopping lists. Other times, I use it to meditate and clear my head. Still other times, I’ll bring along a book or some music and allow myself the pleasure of some entertainment.

Some of my time alone is dictated by the work I do: I’m a writer -- perhaps one of the loneliest vocations there is. To ease the isolation, I often seek out friends to eat lunch, go shopping or take a walk. But even these activities are often done alone these days.

Doing things by myself gives me total control of my outing. Take shopping for instance. I love shopping with my daughters or my mom, and I enjoy the occasional jaunt with friends. But when I go by myself, I can move as fast or as slow as I want. I can choose which stores to go into, and when to eat lunch or stop for a snack. I set the entire agenda and get to come and go as I please.

I also tend to walk alone more often, with the exception of my favorite walking companion, Loki, our Yorkie. Walking with him is almost like walking alone, except when he refuses to budge and makes his case by holding his ground with his 5-pound body.

Still, I’m not a complete loner -- yet. I haven’t seen many movies by myself, and I still rarely dine alone. And I’d probably never go on a serious hike or long bike ride by myself for safety reasons. I also like to think of those events as social occasions that are best enjoyed in the company of others. What’s different now, though, is that I no longer worry if I’m alone somewhere, and I certainly don’t feel like a loser. I’ve learned that sometimes the best company is my own.
 
Photo: @iStockphoto.com/kupicoo


Winnie Yu is Completely You’s mom blogger. She has two daughters (Samantha, 14, and Annie, 12) and is the author of seven books, including New Mother’s Guide to Breastfeeding and What to Eat for What Ails You. Her work has appeared in numerous publications, including Woman’s Day, AARP Bulletin, Prevention and WebMD.com.

Why Moms Should Meditate

By Winnie Yu for Completely You



I’m no good at sitting still. In fact, I’m more of a whirling dervish, with bundles of energy and plenty of movement. So when I tried to take up meditation a few years ago, it was a struggle. A big one. My thoughts whirred in all directions. What do I need at the store today? Did I forget to pay that bill? What time is Samantha’s dentist appointment?

Bringing myself to stillness turned out to be more challenging than any athletic endeavor I ever attempted. It was tougher than learning to ski and play tennis. It was more difficult than the ballroom dance classes that my husband and I took. It was certainly more difficult than yoga and tai chi, which still allowed me to move while watching my breath.

Yet I’d heard so much about the benefits of meditating that I simply had to try it. The result is my own special brand of mediation, what I call mom’s meditative magic. I like to think of it as a temporary suspension from reality -- a short break from the chaos around me.

How I do it: Basically, I try to put what’s going on around me into the background and bring my breath to the foreground. When the focus shifts, I begin to listen to my breath and feel for the rise and fall of my chest. Sometimes, I count: one … two … three. Often, before I even get to 10, I have zoned out, but in a way that’s deliberate, focused and calming. Want more instructions? Check out this video on one-moment meditation.

Sometimes, my brief meditative moments are the only thing that keeps me sane on a bad day. For instance, when the kids are fighting, I will sometimes disappear into my own head. Or when I’m rushing around from one thing to the next, I’ll pause and think about my breath. Sometimes, I just focus on the mundane task at hand, like washing dishes or driving.

These fleeting bouts of meditative escapes may not bring about the brain-boosting, soul-soothing calm that 20 minutes on a yoga mat might. But they keep me sane when I’m feeling anything but. For busy moms like me, that’s priceless.

Like this post? Comment below or connect with us @Completely_You
For more great health & lifestyle content, visit the parent site of my blog, Completely You

Photo: @iStockphoto.com/shironosov


Winnie Yu is Completely You’s mom blogger. She has two daughters (Samantha, 14, and Annie, 12) and is the author of seven books, including New Mother’s Guide to Breastfeeding and What to Eat for What Ails You. Her work has appeared in numerous publications, including Woman’s Day, AARP Bulletin, Prevention and WebMD.com.

Moms Need to Make Music Too

By Winnie Yu for Completely You



When my kids were at the tender age of 3, I thought music was so important that I signed them up for music classes. While my husband introduced them to The Beatles, the Pixies and the Rolling Stones, I took on the task of musical training and coaxed Samantha and Annie into taking piano lessons. Samantha never took to the piano; she went on to play the flute instead. Annie fell in love with the piano and added the trumpet to her repertoire.

But something happened on the way to teaching my children about music. I rediscovered my own love of making music and began to play my flute again. I started by picking up my old lesson books, and then I bought some new ones with orchestral accompaniments on a CD. For a while, I played alone in my living room.

Then, six years ago, I finally mustered up the courage to join a community orchestra. The first night was sheer terror. I hadn’t played in a group setting since my sophomore year in high school. I’d forgotten how to count long rests, and I fumbled my fingering as I attempted to play the new music. Trying to keep up with the other musicians -- who seemed so much more skilled -- left me exhausted by the end of the night.

But I went home, practiced and returned the following week. I’ve been playing with the group ever since.

These days, my weekly orchestra rehearsals are as entrenched in our family schedule as Annie’s piano and trumpet lessons. Every Monday night, I rehearse with 50 or so other instrumentalists. We play classical pieces, show tunes, jazz and anything else that strikes the conductor’s fancy.

For those two hours, I am totally absorbed by the music on my stand and the sounds around me. The soul-stirring string section. The rhythmic pounding of the percussionists. The throaty sonorous sounds of the bassoon. Even counting the beats during a long rest have become a form of meditation.

Twice each season, we perform for nursing homes, senior centers and the public, bringing our love for making music to an audience. It’s volunteer work, done from the heart.

Playing music has taught me how important it is for moms to make room for hobbies in their busy lives. Whether it’s playing an instrument, scrapbooking or enjoying any other hobby, moms need an activity that takes them away from their daily duties and lets them focus on something they can do strictly for pleasure, not obligation.

So take time to think about what you enjoy doing, and then make the time to do it.

Like this post? Comment below or connect with me @Completely_You
For more great health & lifestyle content, visit the parent site of my blog, Completely You

Photo: @iStockphoto.com/snvv

Winnie Yu is Completely You’s mom blogger. She has two daughters and is the author of seven books, including New Mother’s Guide to Breastfeeding and What to Eat for What Ails You. Her work has appeared in numerous publications, including Woman’s Day, AARP Bulletin, Prevention and WebMD.