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Welcome to The Smart Mom Manual. I'm Winnie Yu, mom blogger at CompletelyYou.com. My daughters, Samantha and Annie, are 14 and 12. Like most moms, I'm still trying to perfect the balancing act that we all know as motherhood in the modern world. Please don't hesitate to write to me as you read my blog. You can also tweet me @Completely_You. I look forward to hearing from you!

Monday, July 30, 2012

Lovin’ Those Leftovers

By Winnie Yu for Completely You



My favorite meal of the week is the one I made days before. Not the fresh pot of chili, the hot-out-of-the-oven homemade pizza or the new batch of mac ‘n’ cheese. It’s the old one, the one that’s been sitting in my fridge, sometimes for a few days.

Yes, it’s the leftovers.

Of course, I’m being a little facetious here. But the truth is, I love leftovers. Why? Because it means I don’t have to cook. It means all I have to do is open up my fridge and throw something in the oven or microwave.

That’s why I always like to make a little extra when I do cook. That’s why I keep a giant stash of containers and lids that invariably tumble out of my cabinets. That’s why some days, my refrigerator looks more like a giant display of Tupperware than a warehouse for chilling foods.

Leftovers night tends to fall on Thursdays. I usually cook on Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays. After I accumulate three days worth of leftovers, I announce to my family that it’s Leftovers Night, and I tell them they can eat anything they want that’s in the fridge. Sometimes, that can make for some eclectic meals, as in chicken fajitas with a side of Chinese stir-fry veggies. By the time dinner ends, the plastic containers are emptied, and our tummies are full.

Having an extra fridge allows me to extend leftovers into the more distant future too. Kudos to my mother-in-law, who years ago talked me into putting an extra fridge in my basement. The extra space allows me to freeze some of the foods I make. On those super busy days, I can make dinner simply by grabbing something from my extra freezer.

So let’s celebrate those leftovers, those wonderful meals that come from cooking a little bit more and eating a little bit less.

For more great health and lifestyle content, check out the rest of Completely You

Photo: Corbis Images

Winnie Yu is Completely You’s mom blogger. She has two daughters (Samantha, 14, and Annie, 12) and is the author of seven books, including New Mother’s Guide to Breastfeeding and What to Eat for What Ails You. Her work has appeared in numerous publications, including Woman’s Day, AARP Bulletin, Prevention and WebMD.com.


Monday, July 23, 2012

An Imperfect Role Model

By Winnie Yu for Completely You



As a mother, I used to think I had to set the perfect example, especially since I have two daughters. I had to work hard. I had to eat the healthiest foods. I had to dress well. I always had to arrive on time. I had to be nice. I could never tell a lie. I had to donate money to anyone who ever asked. And I could never mutter a bad word, even during life’s most frustrating moments.

Striving for perfection, however, was exhausting. It was also impossible to achieve. Take the time my daughter Annie and I got rear ended by a reckless driver last year on our way home from a piano lesson. A few choice words slipped out of my mouth that day. Annie quickly learned that her mom was hardly “perfect” and never would be.

And that, I decided, is okay.

Even the most perfect among us are hardly perfect. We get angry. We get grumpy. We snap. We judge. Simply put, we don’t always do what’s considered the right thing. Most of the time, however, we’re just decent people, trying to do the best we can. I call it being human.

Letting my daughters see my imperfections gives them -- and me -- room to breathe and allows them be the imperfect people they are. It frees them up to relax a little when they mess up. It also teaches them to forgive others when they are imperfect and to move on with the bigger picture in mind.

Does that mean there are things I’ve done that I don’t regret? Absolutely not. Does it mean I think it’s okay to be rude, inconsiderate and crass? Not at all. What it does mean is that I don’t pressure myself to always do the right thing, even when I know my kids are watching me.

Freeing myself from the strict standards of perfectionism allows me to relax and teaches my kids the best lesson of all: no one is perfect.

And that’s perfectly fine by me.

For more great health & lifestyle content, check out the rest of Completely You



Winnie Yu is Completely You’s mom blogger. She has two daughters (Samantha, 14, and Annie, 12) and is the author of seven books, including New Mother’s Guide to Breastfeeding and What to Eat for What Ails You. Her work has appeared in numerous publications, including Woman’s Day, AARP Bulletin, Prevention and WebMD.com.


Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Recharging Your Batteries

By Winnie Yu for Completely You



Most moms I know run around like Energizer bunnies, forever on the go. We’re always busy doing things for our families, running the household and working hard at our jobs. Every night, we dutifully plug in our cell phones so the batteries can recharge. But how religious are we about recharging our own batteries?

Years ago, when my girls were young, I stopped taking care of myself. I’d go weeks without exercise. I didn’t get enough sleep. I worked long hours. I rarely went out with friends. But then I realized the truth in what flight attendants said: “When the plane hits turbulence, and you need an oxygen mask, always slip yours on first.” Without enough oxygen for yourself, there’s little you can do for your child -- or anyone else for that matter.

With that sage advice in mind, I began doing a better job of recharging my own batteries.
  • Exercise regularly. No matter what else I have planned for the day, I make it a priority to move. Some days, it’s an hour-long visit to the gym and a 3-mile walk with my dog. Other days, it’s two 10-minute walks with the dog and nothing else. Regular activity helps my mood, gives me energy and makes it easier for me to fall asleep.
  • Eat well -- most of the time. I love desserts, snacks and all sorts of junk food. Given the choice, I’d live on French fries, burgers and pizza. But when I did eat that way, I didn’t really feel good. Now, I start my breakfast with berries, orange juice and another piece of fruit. I eat a salad almost every day, and I’m careful to watch my intake of red meat. I also try to eat lean proteins, including fish once or twice a week.
  • Get your rest. A good night’s sleep doesn’t come easily to me these days, so I’ve devised a list of strategies that help ease me into it, including regular exercise, chamomile tea, melatonin and middle-of-the-night viewings of “Mad Men” reruns on Netflix. If I still don’t get enough sleep, I take a short nap during the day -- just 15 minutes are usually enough. Most important, I try not to sweat my lack of sleep. 
  • Find things that make you laugh. I’m lucky to be surrounded by humor. For starters, I’m married to a very funny man whose take on life has always made me laugh. On top of that, some of my best friends are also the funniest people I know. They can drop one-liners with the best of them and see the irony in any situation. Throw in a good sitcom, a funny movie or a conversation with my daughters, who are fabulous comedians without always meaning to be, and I’m well-stocked with the laughter we all need to get through life.
  • Rediscover your hobbies and passions -- or try out new ones. For years, I was an avid reader, a tennis player and a bicyclist. After having kids, all those hobbies fell by the wayside. Now that my girls are a little older, I’m rediscovering my love of reading and I’m back on my bike more regularly. Tennis? I’m giving that a try in a few days; I’ll see if I can resume that passion. In the meantime, I’ve discovered yoga and scrapbooking, and I’ve gone back to playing my flute.
  • Spend time with friends. Whether it’s your best friend from high school or a new acquaintance from the PTA, being with friends is medicine for the soul -- even if you’re just commiserating or swapping cleaning tips. Human beings are social creatures, and being with others gives us perspective, camaraderie and energy.
Every mom has her own recipe for recharging her batteries. Whatever you need to recapture your zest, do it. Your family will thank you for it.

For more great health and lifestyle content, check out the rest of Completely You


Winnie Yu is Completely You’s mom blogger. She has two daughters (Samantha, 14, and Annie, 12) and is the author of seven books, including New Mother’s Guide to Breastfeeding and What to Eat for What Ails You. Her work has appeared in numerous publications, including Woman’s Day, AARP Bulletin, Prevention and WebMD.com.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Guilty of Not Feeling Guilty



All moms have guilt … or do they? 


Not long ago, I decided I wanted to write a blog about mom guilt. My thoughts leaped around. The sentences wouldn’t gel. Paragraphs refused to flow. I set the blog aside and took off to a writer’s conference. There in my hotel room, I realized a simple truth: I didn’t really feel that guilty.

And that’s when the guilt set in.

Don’t get me wrong; I’m no stranger to mom guilt. Who is? Mom guilt comes in all forms and from all directions. Me? I used to feel guilty for almost everything I did. I felt guilty for working. I felt guilty when I didn’t work. I felt guilty when I missed field trips. I felt guilty when I fed my kids fast food. I felt guilty for parking them in front of the TV so I could finish a project. I often felt as if everything I did wasn’t enough or wasn’t right.

Guilt became a part of life -- a way of being. Perhaps because it was so pervasive, it became a bit like breathing -- something I experienced every day and simply had to accept.

But over the years, especially as my daughters got older and I saw that they were fine, the guilt began to lessen. I began to realize that it really is OK to take time for myself, to pursue a career and to do things that break the rules I’d set for myself. I realized that my being away from them for a short period of time wasn’t going to make or break them. I realized that the occasional trip to a fast-food restaurant wasn’t going to destroy their health.

Truth is, motherhood evolves and unfolds in its own unique way for every woman. There are no commandments to abide by. Skipping field trips doesn’t make you a lesser mother, and getting an occasional spa treatment or attending a work conference doesn’t, either. What matters is your constant presence and love, and it’s the rare mom who doesn’t provide that. (Listen to how other working moms cope with guilt here.)

Still, I do suffer the occasional pang of guilt for liberating myself of mother guilt. When that happens, I remind myself that I’ve had my share and paid my dues. If time has allowed me to acquire some perspective, then OK: I’m guilty as charged.

For more great health and lifestyle content, visit me here at Completely You