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Welcome to The Smart Mom Manual. I'm Winnie Yu, mom blogger at CompletelyYou.com. My daughters, Samantha and Annie, are 14 and 12. Like most moms, I'm still trying to perfect the balancing act that we all know as motherhood in the modern world. Please don't hesitate to write to me as you read my blog. You can also tweet me @Completely_You. I look forward to hearing from you!

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Make Time for Friends

By Winnie Yu for Completely You


Back in the day when I was in high school, my friends were everything to me. We spent the day laughing and whispering in the school hallways, then went home and called each other to plan what we were going to do that weekend.

Then life got busy. Careers. Marriage. Kids. Friendships got put on the back burner as we slowly carved our way in the world and struggled to create meaning in our lives. But as I’ve gotten older and as my kids have become more independent, I’m starting to realize again just how important my friends really are to my happiness and well-being. (Learn just how important friendship is to your physical health here.)

That’s why I’ve made it a priority to spend time with my friends. As much as I love my family, there’s simply no substitute for the companionship of friends -- these wonderful people you handpicked to be in your life. These special folks are always there for you, ready to lend an ear or a hand, or simply to share a laugh.

Now, even when I’m having a busy week, I still try to set aside some time for friends. It might be breakfast or a walk with one pal, lunch with a small group, or a movie night with a troupe of frazzled moms from the neighborhood. Once a year, I try to meet up with my two best friends from college for a weekend away. It doesn’t really matter what we do. Just being together and talking is all that counts.

Truth is that hanging out with your friends is good for the soul. It feels good to kvetch about life’s endless challenges, swap stories about our kids and laugh about life’s absurdities. It feels good to be with people who want nothing more from you than a little compassion and some good conversation.

After an outing with my friends, I’m always more relaxed, and life always feels a little more manageable. As someone once said, “Friendship doubles your joys and divides your sorrows.” How true indeed.

Like this post? Comment below or connect with us @Completely_You
For more great health & lifestyle content, visit the parent site of my blog,
Completely You


Winnie Yu is Completely You’s mom blogger. She has two daughters (Samantha, 14, and Annie, 12) and is the author of seven books, including New Mother’s Guide to Breastfeeding and What to Eat for What Ails You. Her work has appeared in numerous publications, including Woman’s Day, AARP Bulletin, Prevention and WebMD.com.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

How to Deal With Jealousy

By Winnie Yu for Completely You



From the outside, Sheila appeared to have it all: A beautiful house with a well-manicured lawn. Two perfectly behaved children who got good grades and never misbehaved. A successful career as an interior decorator. On top of it all, she was beautiful and married to a successful businessman who adored her.

It would have been easy to hate her. But Sheila was kind and wonderful, which made her popular too. Everyone marveled at her charmed life -- until we learned that her husband was having an affair. What we thought was so perfect clearly was not.

It’s easy to look at other moms and feel envious, especially when they appear to manage the mommy juggling act with great aplomb. Those twinges of envy have been with us since we first eyed another girl’s doll collection. And this emotion stayed with us as we later turned green at our friend’s perfect wardrobe, dreamy boyfriend and fabulous career.

Truth is we don’t really know what’s going on in someone else’s life, the demons of their past and the sweat they endure as they go through their days. What appears to be so perfect and blissful may, in fact, just be a mirage. We all live with challenges and struggles -- personal, financial or otherwise -- no matter what the outside world may see.

That’s why being content with what you do have is so important. So while I may not have a well-manicured lawn and an immaculate house, I do have work that I love. And while my kids may not always behave perfectly, they are kind, loving and generous. It’s all about perspective and focus, how you choose to view your circumstances and where you place your attention.

So next time the green-eyed monster rears its ugly head, put it in its place -- somewhere in the deep recesses of your mind. Then look around and celebrate what you have that’s good.

Do you ever get jealous of other moms? Confess below or tweet me @Completely_You


Winnie Yu is Completely You’s mom blogger. She has two daughters (Samantha, 14, and Annie, 12) and is the author of seven books, including New Mother’s Guide to Breastfeeding and What to Eat for What Ails You. Her work has appeared in numerous publications, including Woman’s Day, AARP Bulletin, Prevention and WebMD.com.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012


Keep Your Workout Habit Alive

By Winnie Yu for Completely You



I’ve been a committed exerciser for years. I walk. I go to the gym. I lift weights. I ride my bike. I do yoga. In fact, exercise is a daily priority, one that almost never falls by the wayside. It helps me sleep better, improves my mood and keeps me at a healthy weight.

But even the most committed exercise queen is going to have the occasional busy day when she just can’t do as much as she’d like. On those days, it just doesn’t seem worth the effort to get dressed, slog my way to the gym and work out for a mere 15 minutes.

In the past, I used to write those days off, and then spend evenings enjoying a bowl of ice cream topped with guilt. Before I knew it, a few more busy days had gone by. Soon, it was an entire week.
Not good.

Eventually, I realized that doing only a few minutes of exercise was better than doing none at all. Now, on my busy days, I simply do whatever I can, even it’s just a five-minute walk up the street or a 20-minute visit to the gym. These tiny spurts of exercise -- if you can even call them that -- don’t exactly help me sleep better or fend off any weight gain. But they do keep me in the habit of exercise.

When life gets busy, it’s all about maintaining the habit. It isn’t about working at my target heart rate for a sustained period of time, or doing three sets of 10 reps on every machine. And it’s certainly not about finding my edge in a yoga pose, or tackling a new ride on long, windy roads. (Read how another mom manages to fit in fitness here.)

On those busiest of days, I’m working out for one reason: to stay in my exercise groove. So the next time my schedule opens up, I’ll be ready to do a heart-thumping workout.

Like this post? Comment below or connect with me @Completely_You
For more great health and lifestyle content, visit the parent site of my blog,
Completely You


Winnie Yu is Completely You’s mom blogger. She has two daughters (Samantha, 14, and Annie, 12) and is the author of seven books, including New Mother’s Guide to Breastfeeding and What to Eat for What Ails You. Her work has appeared in numerous publications, including Woman’s Day, AARP Bulletin, Prevention and WebMD.com.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Let Go of Control

By Winnie Yu for Completely You



My friend Sue can’t get her son to do his homework. My friend Barbara can’t make her daughter eat better. Me? I struggle with getting my daughters to exercise, clean up the messes they leave and practice their instruments.

In truth, I’m a bit of a control freak. I like life to unfold the way I want it to unfold. But reality doesn’t work that way, especially where other human beings are involved. That’s why I can’t get my husband to stop collecting Legos, my mother to join the senior center, and editors to give me the assignments I want.

When it came to my kids, I thought it would be a little easier. After all, I’m Mom. Shouldn’t they be doing as they’re told? Shouldn’t they be following my advice and learning from my hard-earned experience? Wouldn’t they want to do things the easier way -- which, in most cases, is my way?

Wrong. Turns out they’re little people with minds and habits of their own too. To make matters worse, they’re in the throes of slowly breaking away from us, which makes not doing what we want that much more exciting.

It took me a long time to figure out that no amount of cajoling and weaseling was going to get anyone to do exactly as I wanted. So I gave up. Perhaps it was the wisdom of age. Or maybe it was the yoga and meditation. But somewhere along the way, I learned that letting go of what I can’t control -- be it the weather or my daughters -- takes a lot less energy and makes life a lot less stressful.

So when my daughter Samantha was in second grade, I stopped begging her to try new foods. In fourth grade, I stopped helping her with homework. A couple of years ago, I stopped pleading with her to clean her room.

Just the other day, when she came down dressed in what I thought was not enough clothes for skiing, I asked her, “Do you think you have enough layers on?”

“I’m fine, Mom,” she said with an eye roll.

And that was good enough for me.

Like this post? Comment below or connect with me @Completely_You
 

For more great health and lifestyle content, visit the parent site of my blog, Completely You
Photo: @iStockphoto.com/snapphoto

Winnie Yu  is Completely You’s mom blogger. She has two daughters (Samantha, 14, and Annie, 12) and is the author of seven books, including New Mother’s Guide to Breastfeeding and What to Eat for What Ails You. Her work has appeared in numerous publications, including Woman’s Day, AARP Bulletin, Prevention and WebMD.com.