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Welcome to The Smart Mom Manual. I'm Winnie Yu, mom blogger at CompletelyYou.com. My daughters, Samantha and Annie, are 14 and 12. Like most moms, I'm still trying to perfect the balancing act that we all know as motherhood in the modern world. Please don't hesitate to write to me as you read my blog. You can also tweet me @Completely_You. I look forward to hearing from you!

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

How to Deal With Jealousy

By Winnie Yu for Completely You

From the outside, Sheila appeared to have it all: A beautiful house with a well-manicured lawn. Two perfectly behaved children who got good grades and never misbehaved. A successful career as an interior decorator. On top of it all, she was beautiful and married to a successful businessman who adored her.

It would have been easy to hate her. But Sheila was kind and wonderful, which made her popular too. Everyone marveled at her charmed life -- until we learned that her husband was having an affair. What we thought was so perfect clearly was not.

It’s easy to look at other moms and feel envious, especially when they appear to manage the mommy juggling act with great aplomb. Those twinges of envy have been with us since we first eyed another girl’s doll collection. And this emotion stayed with us as we later turned green at our friend’s perfect wardrobe, dreamy boyfriend and fabulous career.

Truth is we don’t really know what’s going on in someone else’s life, the demons of their past and the sweat they endure as they go through their days. What appears to be so perfect and blissful may, in fact, just be a mirage. We all live with challenges and struggles -- personal, financial or otherwise -- no matter what the outside world may see.

That’s why being content with what you do have is so important. So while I may not have a well-manicured lawn and an immaculate house, I do have work that I love. And while my kids may not always behave perfectly, they are kind, loving and generous. It’s all about perspective and focus, how you choose to view your circumstances and where you place your attention.

So next time the green-eyed monster rears its ugly head, put it in its place -- somewhere in the deep recesses of your mind. Then look around and celebrate what you have that’s good.

Do you ever get jealous of other moms? Confess below or tweet me @Completely_You

Winnie Yu is Completely You’s mom blogger. She has two daughters (Samantha, 14, and Annie, 12) and is the author of seven books, including New Mother’s Guide to Breastfeeding and What to Eat for What Ails You. Her work has appeared in numerous publications, including Woman’s Day, AARP Bulletin, Prevention and WebMD.com.


  1. As I get older and hopefully wiser.. I am realizing every day..that no matter how bad I think things are..or how good someone else seems to have it..that things (LIFE) is good.. I mean very good.. and I am learning to appreciate and make the most of what I have.

  2. Definitely sounds wiser! We have to appreciate all that we do have and try not to focus on what others seem to have.

  3. If you told me when i was sixteen what my life would be like when i was forty, i would have said, wow, that's cool! Hard to remember when you're just living to impress your neighbors, or trying to show up everyone at work. You're so right: it takes perspective. I wish there were some way to regain that perspective every day--like a good movie, or a long run, or describing the things you love about your life to a friend.

    Hell, that's three of 'em. Maybe it isn't so hard after all!

    1. I guess we all get smarter with time. Maybe a gratitude list is the way to go.