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Welcome to The Smart Mom Manual. I'm Winnie Yu, mom blogger at CompletelyYou.com. My daughters, Samantha and Annie, are 14 and 12. Like most moms, I'm still trying to perfect the balancing act that we all know as motherhood in the modern world. Please don't hesitate to write to me as you read my blog. You can also tweet me @Completely_You. I look forward to hearing from you!

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

What’s Your Hurry?

By Winnie Yu for Completely You



All my life, I’ve been one of those people who walk quickly on life’s treadmill. I talk fast. I move fast. I think fast. The good news is I get a lot done.

And so it came as no surprise that as a mom, I had a tendency to hurry my kids along. There were places to be, people to see, things to do! Get out the door so we could arrive on time and do what we had to do.

Lately, I’ve been rethinking that strategy and changing some of my fast-paced, always-in-a-hurry ways. Instead of leaving half an hour before an event, I leave 10 minutes before it. Rather than race through a store, I try to pay attention to what my daughters are showing me. Instead of watching the clock while I’m taking an exercise class, I try to focus on what I’m doing and to do it more deliberately.

Nowhere is that more important than at dinnertime, where we still somehow manage to eat together most nights. I recently read Savor: Mindful Eating, Mindful Life, a book by the famous Buddhist monk Thich Naht Hanh and Dr. Lilian Cheung, registered dietitian and director of health promotion and communication for the Harvard School of Public Health. The book talks about the importance of eating slowly as a way to control our weight. It also stresses the importance of being present in each moment of our lives and not living in the past or future.

For those of us in life’s fast lane, maybe it’s time to learn from those who amble along on life’s treadmill. Maybe it’s time we dawdle in stores and sip our lattes down to the last drop. I’d like to think that letting up on the gas will help us savor the scenery.



Winnie Yu is Completely You’s mom blogger. She has two daughters (Samantha, 14, and Annie, 12) and is the author of seven books, including New Mother’s Guide to Breastfeeding and What to Eat for What Ails You. Her work has appeared in numerous publications, including Woman’s Day, AARP Bulletin, Prevention and WebMD.com.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Moms Need Getaways Too!

By Winnie Yu for Completely You


When my daughters were infants, I couldn’t bear to leave them for more than a couple of hours. Call it primal, but it just didn’t feel right to be away from them when they were so small. So with the exception of an occasional date night with my husband or an early girls’ night out, I rarely left their sides, choosing instead to be home, frazzled and exhausted, but present.

Fast-forward a few years, and the value of a good getaway -- for a day or a long weekend -- has become increasingly apparent and necessary for my sanity. Sure, a Calgon bath is nice (remember the “Calgon, take me away” ads?), but a real escape is considerably better.

Whether it’s a weekend with the girls or a solo business trip, it’s good to take a time-out from motherhood and remind ourselves that we are people too. And as such, we need time alone, time with friends and time to pursue our dreams and goals.

Sometimes, a short getaway is all I need to recharge. It can be something as simple as going to a leisurely lunch with a friend or going on a shopping trip by myself. Other times, life calls for a longer excursion, such as an extended visit with a friend, a work conference or a weekend spa trip with the girls. (If you need some great short escape ideas to inspire you, click here.)

Being away on my own helps me to remember my carefree days when my responsibilities were significantly fewer and when I had only one person to worry about: me. It also gives me perspective on my life because it lets me step outside of it for a while. Best of all, it helps me appreciate the wonderful people who have since come into my life, especially my two daughters.

Mind you, I always miss them when I’m away. I think of their sweet smiles and the way they still hold on to me, even as they are slowly growing up. I do not think of their bickering, their messy rooms or the way they sigh when I ask them to take the dog out.

With those loving thoughts in mind, I make my return as a calmer, happier person who feels multidimensional. When the wheels of family life start spinning again, I’m able to be a better mom.



Winnie Yu is Completely You’s mom blogger. She has two daughters (Samantha, 14, and Annie, 12) and is the author of seven books, including New Mother’s Guide to Breastfeeding and What to Eat for What Ails You. Her work has appeared in numerous publications, including Woman’s Day, AARP Bulletin, Prevention and WebMD.com.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Cleaning on the Go!

By Winnie Yu for Completely You



When my kids were little, I used to devote an entire morning to cleaning the house. Three hours straight of scrubbing, dusting and vacuuming. In the end, I had a nice clean house to show for it.

But keeping up that kind of ritual didn’t work. Life got busier as the kids got older, and several years ago, I became the master of the five-minute cleanup. Now, if I have a few minutes to spare, I’ll scrub a toilet, wipe off a counter and dust a few tables. I call it cleaning on the go.

With this new style of cleaning, my house may never be completely clean again. Rather, it will be clean here or there -- just not everywhere. So my living room may be free of dust, but my kitchen will be a fiasco. My bathroom may be sparkling, but my office might be a disaster.

Cleaning this way has taught me three things:

1. I must have a clean bedroom. Going to bed in a room that’s filled with chaos is just not my cup of tea, thank you very much. That means every day, I make my bed; every week, I dust and vacuum my bedroom. If there’s one room that receives top priority, it’s the room where I sleep.

2. A clean kitchen floor makes it easy to let everything else go. When that’s sparkling, everything feels a little cleaner, even if my kitchen counters are a bit cluttered or the mudroom shelves are messy.

3. I am not a neat freak. While I fall on the side of the Felix Ungers as opposed to the Oscar Madisons, I am not nearly as tidy as some neatniks. If I can live with messes, then maybe I’m not as much of a clean queen as I’d like to think I am. And that’s OK. For me, I’ve learned that clean
enough is good enough.

Do you feel guilty about not cleaning often enough? Talk about it!



Winnie Yu is Completely You’s mom blogger. She has two daughters (Samantha, 14, and Annie, 12) and is the author of seven books, including New Mother’s Guide to Breastfeeding and What to Eat for What Ails You. Her work has appeared in numerous publications, including Woman’s Day, AARP Bulletin, Prevention and WebMD.com.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

The Gift of Time

By Winnie Yu for Completely You



When I was a kid, I wanted my mother to love perfume, makeup or jewelry like other moms did. But my mom had been a tomboy in China, a talented softball player who rode bikes without brakes and preferred roller skates and tag to dolls and dress-up.

I was at a loss as to what to give my mom on Mother’s Day or any other event that warranted a gift. Scribbled artwork could only go so far after a certain age. She liked reading but said it was too hard for her to read English, her second language. And while she liked sweaters, I certainly couldn’t afford them on a babysitter’s wages.

It didn’t get any easier as she got older. Oh, sure, I was better able to afford the sweaters and fleece jackets she came to like. But how many does a woman really need? And she certainly didn’t want any more tchotchkes, candies or souvenir magnets.

Finding her the right gift became a perennial challenge.When it came right down to it, turns out what she really wanted from me was my time -- the one thing that is so hard for a busy mom to spare. But my mom was getting on in years, and if it was time she wanted, then I would do my best to give it to her.

And so one Christmas, I bought a cheap calendar from the dollar store, etched in a lunch date on the first Wednesday of every month and gave it to her. It was my way of guaranteeing that we’d see each other at least once a month, and that on that day, the treat would be all mine.

My mother loved the gift, and so it became an annual present. One year, I gave her a two-year calendar. Another year, I gave her a gift certificate. The presentation didn’t matter. It was the guaranteed time that counted.

Giving your most precious commodity isn’t easy. But her joy in seeing me -- she bestows me with hugs and small gifts at almost every visit -- is well worth it. It’s a gift that keeps on giving back.

What are you getting Mom for Mother’s Day this year? Here’s a healthy gift suggestion from my sponsor. 



Winnie Yu is Completely You’s mom blogger. She has two daughters (Samantha, 14, and Annie, 12) and is the author of seven books, including New Mother’s Guide to Breastfeeding and What to Eat for What Ails You. Her work has appeared in numerous publications, including Woman’s Day, AARP Bulletin, Prevention and WebMD.com.


Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Weeding out the Closet

By Winnie Yu for Completely You



It’s spring, and many people are outside weeding their gardens. Me? I’m inside weeding out my closet.

For years, I’ve kept clothes around that don’t really excite me. Sweaters that have gotten pilly. Pants that are too baggy. Sale items that I thought I’d wear but never did.Because I work from home, it’s easy to give little thought to my wardrobe. Instead, I tend to dress in a style that’s best described as practical. I wear what I wear to keep warm or feel comfortable. Rarely do I put on an outfit because I feel so absolutely fabulous in it.

This has to change. I don’t want to go through my days dressed in clothes simply for warmth. I want to actually revel in what I wear. When I do wear something I love, it makes me feel good and gives me more confidence. Shouldn’t we always feel that way?

It wasn’t always like this. When I worked in an office -- and even during a teaching stint -- I paid careful attention to what I wore. I made sure I actually liked the clothes I put on each morning and that I felt good wearing them.

These days, with no place to go and with a tight budget to boot, I restrict the clothes I buy. I must really need them -- or they have to be on sale -- in order for me to plunk down the credit card. I don’t ever buy clothes simply for the joy of having something special to wear. Most clothes I buy are for my kids: outfits for track, a dress for a dance, new shoes for a concert.

I’m sure many moms know what I’m talking about. But why should it be that way? Why should it always be that our family’s needs come before ours? What’s wrong with indulging in a new outfit just because you feel like it?

So this spring, my spring-cleaning involves a careful look at my closet. Out with the old, boring and useless. In with the new, fresh and fun.

Moms, how do you dress? Tell me I’m not the only practical one. … 



Winnie Yu is Completely You’s mom blogger. She has two daughters (Samantha, 14, and Annie, 12) and is the author of seven books, including New Mother’s Guide to Breastfeeding and What to Eat for What Ails You. Her work has appeared in numerous publications, including Woman’s Day, AARP Bulletin, Prevention and WebMD.com.