How to Deal With Jealousy

By Winnie Yu for Completely You



From the outside, Sheila appeared to have it all: A beautiful house with a well-manicured lawn. Two perfectly behaved children who got good grades and never misbehaved. A successful career as an interior decorator. On top of it all, she was beautiful and married to a successful businessman who adored her.

It would have been easy to hate her. But Sheila was kind and wonderful, which made her popular too. Everyone marveled at her charmed life -- until we learned that her husband was having an affair. What we thought was so perfect clearly was not.

It’s easy to look at other moms and feel envious, especially when they appear to manage the mommy juggling act with great aplomb. Those twinges of envy have been with us since we first eyed another girl’s doll collection. And this emotion stayed with us as we later turned green at our friend’s perfect wardrobe, dreamy boyfriend and fabulous career.

Truth is we don’t really know what’s going on in someone else’s life, the demons of their past and the sweat they endure as they go through their days. What appears to be so perfect and blissful may, in fact, just be a mirage. We all live with challenges and struggles -- personal, financial or otherwise -- no matter what the outside world may see.

That’s why being content with what you do have is so important. So while I may not have a well-manicured lawn and an immaculate house, I do have work that I love. And while my kids may not always behave perfectly, they are kind, loving and generous. It’s all about perspective and focus, how you choose to view your circumstances and where you place your attention.

So next time the green-eyed monster rears its ugly head, put it in its place -- somewhere in the deep recesses of your mind. Then look around and celebrate what you have that’s good.

Do you ever get jealous of other moms? Confess below or tweet me @Completely_You


Winnie Yu is Completely You’s mom blogger. She has two daughters (Samantha, 14, and Annie, 12) and is the author of seven books, including New Mother’s Guide to Breastfeeding and What to Eat for What Ails You. Her work has appeared in numerous publications, including Woman’s Day, AARP Bulletin, Prevention and WebMD.com.

Valentine's Day: Not Just a Romantic Holiday

 

By Winnie Yu for Completely You



Back in the day when I was young and naive, I thought Valentine’s Day belonged only to people in love: boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, wives and partners who spent their days locked in kisses, hugs and long, loving gazes. These were the people who bought the red heart-shaped boxes and gave each other cards inscribed with sentimental poems.

Now, I prefer to think of Valentine’s Day in a different light. For me, Valentine’s Day is a chance to reflect on all the people who have enriched my life -- not just my spouse. I think of my children, who have blessed my life in unspeakable ways; my parents, who gave up their home in Taiwan to come to the United States to raise a family; and my siblings, who have been with me from the get-go. I am reminded of close friends who are always there for me; my in-laws who have been more than generous and kind; and even my dog, which gives me the purest love of all.

Delving into my past reveals still others who have made a difference in my life. College professors who instilled the confidence I needed to pursue my dreams. Bosses who paved the way to first jobs. Editors who gave me that plum assignment. The list goes on and on.

To find these special people, all you have to do is open up your eyes and heart, and look. These people are there. Some are center stage; some are lurking in the wings. Still, others are tucked away in the nooks and crannies of your past.

No, Valentine’s Day is no longer the romantic holiday I once thought it was. It’s certainly not just about chocolates, roses and fancy cards. Instead, I like to think it’s about loving the people who make up the mosaic of your life.

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Winnie Yu is Completely You’s mom blogger. She has two daughters and is the author of seven books, including New Mother’s Guide to Breastfeeding and What to Eat for What Ails You. Her work has appeared in numerous publications, including Woman’s Day, AARP Bulletin, Prevention and WebMD.